Don't die with your music still inside you

When meeting a friend for a coffee recently I felt very triggered by her, and I hope that she'll forgive me for writing about it. I have always looked up to her and admired her as a person, for the way she exudes confidence and has many talents. She was telling me all about the plot of various interlinked stories that she had composed based upon roleplaying sessions with friends taking place several years back.

To begin with I was enthralled by the intricacy of the storyline and the various different characters. This  captivation, however, was rather short lived. Instead of feeling thrilled for her for creating such wonderful pieces, I found myself criticising my perceived shortcomings. "Wow, how awesome she is. Not like you, Suey, you'll never be able to produce something as amazing as she has. She's so full of talent, unlike you... you who will never amount to anything".

As I sipped at my coffee, I mindfully tried to bring myself back to her words but a fight persisted in my mind. The comparison criticisms were winning the war and I felt barely able to take in any information.

Writing is something that has interested me from about the age of 10. I was an avid reader who had become more advanced than her peers in reading from an early age following much encouragement from a teacher that I looked up to highly because with her long hair and glasses she looked how I imagined myself to look when I grew up. The introvert in me much preferred to have my head in a book than to go play in the park.

Over the years I have dipped into writing various different stories but nothing has ever come of them. I've never got to the final chapter because whilst I can write excellent dialogue and description I can't seem to narrow down a plot. Plus there is a lot of resistance coming from the loud voice in my head saying "What the heck do you know about anything, Suey? How could YOU possibly write something that ANYONE else would be interested in reading. Oh and how on earth would YOU write something within a particular genre?

One idea was a prisoner mistakenly convinced of the idea that he had murdered a young woman he met in a pub but was in fact a suicide attempt gone wrong and the woman was in fact still alive. But I felt too intimidated to research the UK legal system.

Another idea was about a five-year-old child getting an incurable brain cancer and how her parents coped with it. But I was scared off by researching it medically and thought it would be far too depressing.

A further idea, inspired by a dream I had featuring a faltering pink cadillac in a catastrophic thunderstorm, was a beautiful lady with flowing, luscious blonde hair and carefully applied crimson lipstick running away from her devoted husband to France following struggles with her mental health and subsequently falling in love with a French man. But I got distracted with ideas that her husband was never who he said he was.

I truly wonder what I could have created by now if all the energy consumed by thoughts that I'll never be capable of writing anything was spent instead just bloody writing!

So, here I am now, just bloody writing. I've been challenged by "some ginger bitch" as she labelled herself in our video call about it, but she's far more affectionately referred to by me as my life coach  (you can check out her amazing Facebook page here) to write a blog post every day for the next seven days for circa 25 minutes and to publish anything that is over 500 words.

This is day one, and I'm intensely excited for the other six and what will inspire them. The words "Suey, don't die with your music still inside you", inspired by the late and beloved Wayne Dyer and I feel that my blog can be part of the melody that is my life.



Comments

  1. Nice piece thanks for being an inpiring friend Suey

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for the comment, Chris. Life is short, so it's important to life it to its fullest potential :)

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